Tag Archives: life

Life Blog Series (Why I am talking to myself) – Part 11 – ( Caravan of Terrible Dejection )


Caveat: Caveats are a ruse. Missing them is in itself like a fix to the incomplete jigsaw. So try and miss most of them. I write and I keep writing till I’m sure my reader can connect the dots looking backwards at the piece. I may not explain my position in full throttle. At some points, I may just leave the point it as it is, like the way I just did.

It’s a little bit off track from what I decided to write upon 5 minutes ago due to the recent developments hereby. I have been a humble provider, learner and exchange-r of knowledge in my university for the last 4.5 years and I have not seen such a state as I am today. I never liked the word “throng”, though it doesn’t mean anything very bad but whenever it’s used in my context or I’m anyhow related to the context of usage, I feel a gust of wind of negative connotation uprooting me due to its condescending implications. It according to Merriam-Webster means “a densely packed crowd of people or animals” and mind you, it doesn’t have to signify a purpose as to why. It hit me today that my peers had lost the purpose of their education by selling themselves to the top recruiting firms who visited my university for job placements today i.e. Monday, 1st December 2014.

I don’t want to suppose a moral high ground as I was a significant part of the process till I got rejected by the 2 firms I had enamored a small dream of getting into but as usual, rejection at times can trigger an eclectic variety of emotions as opposed to success. “If you want something, it can be done if you really want it”. Well, how many of you agree with this statement? I hope you all do but it deserves an analysis from the vantage point of someone who failed despite trying hard. Doesn’t it?

I thought that rejection and the dejection following it deserve a mention in the ongoing life blog series. So I am writing this piece at 4:45 AM (Indian Standard Time) after a very fruitful interaction with my colleagues who sat for the interviews, some of them who were hired and many of them who are facing impending rejection in the results about to be declared in a few hours from now.

Preparing yourself for a job is indeed the same simple basic notion with which industrialization began in the world, which is briefly defined as the period of social and economic change that transforms a human group from an agrarian society into an industrial one. An industrialized society need either those people who are ready for the job, or those who are willing to get ready for it. Individual dreams other than being a live working contributor to the industrialized society is a different pursuit altogether. You’re welcome to be led astray(as they say) but it will be a tough fight and a long shot that you will make something out of yourself.

How convenient our system has become! Our recruiters pitch in front of us in the following manner and sequence. We have everything ready for you, they say. We provide you schools for education. We provide your parents a job in order to educate you in our schools. Then we provide you opportunities to work with us so that you and your progeny can exit this cycle. Those who can’t make through the only exit route have to keep continuing working small time jobs living the life we decide for them by implementing, affecting and manipulating grand policy decisions which have far reaching and deep rooted, sometimes inconceivable impacts on our economy, hence on our lives.

This doesn’t mean that I turned tables on our recruiters. I’m as curious to know about job life as those who applied for top notch jobs hoping they could make that cut being among the 50 odd people who would be the stars of tomorrow by grabbing fat pay cheques from them but unfortunately(not sarcasm) couldn’t. I hail from a middle class background like many of them from my university who after the recruitment process finishes, will own up to the fact that competition between us itself has failed the very purpose of this institute, the very integral part of which was peer learning.

We learn to compete. Well, that statement doesn’t sound very well to me. Does it to you? I want to stop at this juncture so that the reader can draw his/her own conclusions from the piece. My motive is not to drive a certain kind of anti-passion towards recruitments but a proper analysis at your part will give you an articulation of your purpose in looking for a job. Even if it’s only for pursuit of money and nothing else, It doesn’t disqualify you from being in the position of thinking for yourself. Does it?

I am very sure that many readers of this blog have no clue of what I am talking about but since this topic is as close to me as Ganges river to Gangotri glacier, I supposed that I should give it a mention in the ongoing series.

Stay Tuned for Part 12!


Life Blog Series (Why I am talking to myself) – Part 10 – ( Cacophony for some, Melody for some! )


Caveat: You should spend the next 3 minutes letting this melody inflict concussions on your pea-sized brain(used in light humor) lest you have very good chances of missing the point. This post is nothing but a harbinger of what is to come in this series of life revelations. 

Life Blog Series (Why I am talking to myself) – Part 9 – ( Blurring the line of Utility Value. But Why ? )


Caveats: Maximizing your utility while reading and using this article’s value as payoff can put you in a position of deep jeopardy because these floating thoughts are like asteroids in a deep space field ready to hit a vulnerable mind going to give a go for this article. I hope you survive well out of it, sweet & fine.

Let’s come directly to the question. Why am I dedicating a piece to utility value. What is it? Utility value is and has been a term and a topic of wide research in economics for past many years. Economists coined a word “utility” in context of how much value (which may be objectified depending on context) can you extract from a particular action of yours in relation to what actions other plan to take. If the cumulative utility that you expect to extract from your action is high enough, you go forward with performing it or otherwise you don’t. This definition may seem to fishy to the first-timers in economics but it has far reaching shadows in most of the activities you undertake or you plan to in your life on a daily basis.

If expected utility is all what we look out for and to some extent is rational too, why do we go against the flow sometimes. Why do we sometimes deviate from the conscious act of calculating utility before doing something ? It is because rationality has its own consequences. Rationality my cause a certain rise in utility but it doesn’t guarantee that both are correlated somehow. Causation does not mean Correlation. It is one of the primer Statistics 101 which needs to be remembered not only for statistical analysis but also as a general life principle. We are human beings with emotions, attachment, sense of identity(ego) and belonging which even now a days close to impossible to code as artificial intelligence. Our(humans) acts may seem to defy logic sometimes. It may go against actions prescribed by rationality. It may not stand the heat of reason and that’s why you find yourselves asking questions or exclaiming in utter disbelief as to “how’s that possible” or “how can he/she do that” or “This is totally irrational and insane”. Well, we humans have a generic code for when and to what to react in such a manner. This is not a special quality that only countable humans are endowed with.

I, for the most part of my writing refrain from throwing pretentious stories that may seem exemplary. I deem it fit for the reader to catch his own ways in order to digest the point that I want to make. In this way, you not only forced him/her to think beyond what a weak literary artist can, but also saved yourself from narrowing the field of view that your writing might or might not cater to. A literary art is important for the pursuit of understanding. Understanding in itself is very abstract point of no significance to me at all, once or if at all you claim to have it.

Renderings from every reader’s vantage point may be so different that it will surprise you to see the innumerable number of interpretations a single piece of writing can give rise to in diverse human minds. When you begin to think this way, writing not only appears to be fun but also a bit more challenging than what it used to be when you began writing. You will blur the line of utility value. The words and what those words mean to you may not be of supreme significance now. Your readers’ interpretation may now well be. That is why a famous author, a mid-famous author and a “niche unread / zero business bringing” author have eclectic mix of takes on the literary approach which may seem like abstruse goose to a “noob” writer.

Ramblings and Musings of Life Blog Series will return with Part 10 soon. Stay Tuned!


Life Blog Series (Why I am talking to myself) – Part 8 – ( Why such a Barometer of Hope ? )


Caveat: You may think that I plundered your deep seated, enamored, and long kept precious secrets using my words. Did I?

Every change in our life is a result of some underground function in the play. It may appear to be sudden, erratic, out of nowhere but it is after all a result of variable actions. In mathematics, we have a simple thing called “graph”. On vertical axis (generically called “y- axis”) contains dependent variable and horizontal axis (generically called “x- axis) has independent variables. The functional relation between these two variables describes the shape you perceive on the graph. Every graph has a meaning in form of a predefined relation between numbers on the x-axis and the y-axis. With this primer on mathematical graphs, I want to ask this question as to what is the function behind the result “hope”. That is to ask what is the x-axis variable that when operated upon by some function gives rise to “hope”.

Hope is an integral or to rightly say more than very integral part of our lives. Any small occurrence, change in surroundings, some motivational speech, random ramblings or even a sight of an object,can make immense impact on human mind. The human mind on the other side very quickly shields the variable that gave rise to hope. It quickly adapts to the new state you are in. It tries to make you a party to the whole new situation contrary to your previously held state of not believing a certain event to be possible. Is it good or bad? Well, that is up to debate and awesomely subjective but according to me, however inevitable this process is, giving birth to new hopes every now and then can be very lethal to the whole fabric of your identity. That is the life blog series considers barometric expansion of hope a very contemplative domain of an individual’s life.

You need to let some things in your life be. You need to make efforts for the sake of making it sometimes, not for what you hope will transpire afterwards. You need to live real indeed. You need to accept certain “truths”. Life is indeed short and you “certainly” don’t want to live in the shadow of “uncertainties” all the fuckin’ time. Do you?

Stay Tuned for Part 9!

Life Blog Series (Why I am talking to myself) – Part 7 – ( Boulevard of Stitched Dreams )


No Caveats this time around as well.

Well it has been some days that I took into reshaping the odd strides my pencil had made while I was painting my literary dream. I like to invent imageries while I write. It helps me focus though you guys might argue against. Many established authors when embark on motivational speeches say that writing in one form or another can be very therapeutic. You know why? The answer may seem ironical. It is because when you set out to write about what you want to write about, It sucks the life form out of you. It demands you to be in a zone which is more or less a certain kind of zone in which you are attentive and discomforted. Yeah it’s right. Choosing the right words can at times be a formidable task. Your repertoire needs to be examined for exact words for exact situations. The thin line is to be able to cross through that demanding process and writing what you wanna write about.

Broken Dreams as it is called is a special class of every writer’s life. We all want to portray what we have in mind. It may be very rudimentary in the start but you need to have something within you that pushes you everyday towards the finish line which everyone defines for themselves. Dreams have to be stitched. They are yours to stay only when you have a sense of belonging to that dream. Well, Fulfilling your dreams is a altogether different pursuit which I am not talking about today.

Writing is in a sense very similar to a grandmother stitching a sweater for you, very persnickety about every turn she makes with that knit because she needs it to be perfect for her grandson. Every time she finishes one, she calls you over, puts it on you and keeps looking at it as she thinks that somewhere or the other, either she overdid the stitching or she missed a mark. She is never satisfied. She decides to give it another go. Her work never convinces her. You will never find a complacent grandmother particularly in the department of knitting sweaters.

Stitch it mi amigo because it will take a life’s journey for you to proclaim at the Grand Canyon of your voice that you wrote it perfect.

More life revelations coming your way in Part 8. Stay Tuned!

Life Blog Series (Why I am talking to myself) – Part 6 – ( Nascent in the Making )


No caveats this time around too. Denser not so self-deprecating thoughts are coming your way within a matter of seconds. Hang on there!

Well my recent activities on this blog all point towards a major milestone in making – My first book. I’m all excited to start the first draft compilation, the details regarding which will be revealed soon and by soon I should tell you – No sooner than before next year starts. I keep getting those chills of the likes of an actor performing for his first ever Broadway musical which is a phenomenon grande for an artist. Writing is totally like going for the Olympics before qualifying the nationals, because that’s the beauty of the business. There is no nationals or states or anything to give you a first thump. Some “homies” around you can for sure give your first draft a try but you know that notes and suggestions and advice and counsel can only help much or not as it stands.

I’ve decided beforehand to keep it short and simple and brief and beautiful. It will neither surprise you neither mesmerize you. It will neither add to your knowledge account nor do you need to search for references to build up the base necessary. But yeah, for sure will it make you wonder. It will shun away your fears. It will cast a shadow of yourself upon yourself. It will make your heart a frolicking kid once again. It will disabuse you of attachments and beliefs not worth carrying as a baggage over your soul. It will let you re-imagine your spaces in the voids of life you have created for yourself. It will nurture you as long as you read it and thereafter, I hope so. Ingredients used in writing this novella (sorta!) are to be put in by the reader, one of which is submission. Submit to the book as long as you are into it. It will serve you back in ways you can’t conceive at the moment. I’m not demanding and neither is it unbecoming to ask my readers to act that way. I mean to say that it’s not enough to be a good reader, you also have to read well and this defining part of a reader-author sort of telepathic connection is always underestimated by modernistic writers. I just wanted to emphasize this dimension of literary business.

The only revelation I can make at the moment is regarding the nationalities of the two main protagonists of the story – Danish and Latvian. I have no particular storyboard in mind which posed these requirements but they came so arbitrarily to me that I decided to keep it that way. It seems kinda loose. Isn’t it?

Stay Tuned for Part 7!

Life Blog Series (Why I am talking to myself) – Part 5 – ( Comfort level with Illusions )


No Caveats this time around. But yes, floating thoughts are coming your way in the matter of seconds.

Developing anything into a form which can create business by being liked/used is no doubt a monumental task at times. Your pain of feigning comfort level with what you do in life on the road to this feat has to be “morphin[ed]” by commensurate level of things you really want to pursue in life. I define those things as “Hobbies”.

I have been defiant in the past to call a particular act as a hobby. May be because I have no particular liking with the nearest word you can form by tweaking the word “hobby” into “hubby”. Sounds inane? Well, it’s not so silly of an explanation for my dislike if you give it a second thought. We all have these dislikes for various words, however sacred their meaning may seem because of one or the other reasons. We take our own thoughts and existence as granted which I think is the disservice to the cosmic superpower who somehow made way for Earth to exist in one piece. I call for the reader to think about some illusions he/she might have carried all through his/her life without proper base. Our comfort level with self made illusions can be very “pernicious” in the long run.

“Keeping oneself occupied” was not the motto our grand ancestors started the process of evolution with. Adding value to the society as a whole was. Well, this is not a meta-discussion at any level(which in turn makes it meta, but that’s not the point). How can we as average-ly intelligent homo sapiens add value to the society? – Well, there is no one right answer to this question regarding grand vision. But, yeah the society today at some level or the other have some significant value-adders and some value-preservers and some value-imbibers and some indifferent-to-value-addition human beings. Yeah, that makes an eclectic set of complex individuals, the world is at present. The notional illusion of world development can very well go astray if the society doesn’t provide incentive for value-indifferent beings to actually start creating some.

Advancement in technology can at very well degrade this entire process though it is making the value-addition process a hell lot easier, it is also aggrandizing the comfort level with illusions around us. It makes you think you worked. It makes you think you added value by solely working. It makes you make many assumptions about the world around us just on the fact that we are all very well connected than our previous generations could ever fathom. This will have its repercussions on the intended evolution of social communication. Its calibre can be perceived in the way we are pseudo-communicating on social platforms. Is this an Illusion ? Well, the answer is not that far. It’s or It may be within you.

Stay Tuned for Part 6!